The Sun Inside You
by Scarlet-Passion
Summary: Despite their differences, Zuko wants to help Azula. So, he goes to a specialized healer named An. Under her care, Azula begins to change. She begins to heal.
1. Method of Treatment

Firelord Zuko sits in the small office patiently waiting as he watches the healer rummaging around her office, trying to find the right file.

The woman before him is the only healer of her field; the health of the mind. Many people do not trust her methods, preferring to leave the mentally damaged to rot in the dingy, depressing asylums. This healer prefers to use herbal prescriptions, verbal communication, and spiritual healing to help her patients then leaving them to stew in their own pain alone in the dark. She has broken conventions and her way of doing things is very new and completely untested.

But just as this is an era of peace, Aang and Zuko are also determined to make this an era of growth and progress. And they both see the healer's ways as a form of progress. So Zuko has gone to her for help.

When she finally sits, Zuko smiles at her, unperturbed by the delay. Her dark hair is disheveled and her face is flushed, but she seems calm nonetheless. "How are you, An?" Zuko asks kindly.

She nods, "As good as can be." He knows what her answers means, seeing as she is basically an outcast. If it weren't for Zuko's protection, she would've been driven out of the capitol a long time ago. "And you?" she asks.

"Same," he replies, smirking.

There is a moment of silence. Then she asks, "Shall we move on?"

He nods.

She opens the scroll in her lap and lays it out on the table between them. "These observations are not very accurate. I've only seen her four times and that is not nearly enough to completely understand her psyche," she warns.

"Please tell me," he replies.

"As you know, Azula's breakdown was caused by the world she had carefully created collapse around her," the healer explains, "But that is not where the problem lies."

"Where does it lie, then?" he asks.

"The problem is why she felt she ever had to create that world in the first place," she replies, "The world she created was precise, calculated, and run by using fear to control others. But when she was young, you said she was not like that. You told me when you were both very young that she and you got along very well."

Zuko nods. "Yes," he replies. They... they had once been very close.

"That was the only time in her life that she was herself. She was surrounded by love and she had no reason to drown out who she was," the healer continues, "She had no reason to make other people fear her because she trusted everyone around her. She could rely on love."

Zuko nods again, finding An's words interesting, especially in relation to Azula.

"It is only when things started to fall apart that she started to build her world. Her mother became more attached to you"—Zuko doesn't say a thing, knowing that An is only telling her what Azula has said—"and all she was left with was to please her father who she knew didn't really love her, but refused to believe it. Love left her world and to fill the void, she created a world that _she _could control."

There is a pause.

"Subsequently," An continues, a little more slowly, "When that world vanished, all she was left with was the bitter reality—no one loves her."

Zuko looks away for a moment. He wants to speak up, to say the healer is wrong. But he's not so sure she is. He looks up at An, "So what do we do?"


	2. Ursa

_-We have to bring love back to Azula's life. We have to give her a reason to believe that someone wants to be with her, to remind her she is worth something. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, but the main three are family, friendship, and romance. The one that is the hardest for her is family._

_-How do we accomplish that?_

_-We start by finding your mother._

* * *

Finding their mother took a few months. In that time, Azula remained alone, her only companion being An. But Azula—even in her insanity—was proud and fierce. She refused to speak with An for too long, trusting the healer about as far as the princess could throw her.

When Zuko finally arrived with Lady Ursa, An had to try hard to conceal her relief. Now she could finally make some progress.

"Are you sure it's safe for my mother to go in there alone?" Zuko asks An.

Before An can answer, Ursa cuts her off, "I will go in their alone whether she is dangerous or not, Zuko."

"But mother—"

"She is here because of me," Ursa says, "Because of me and your father."

"None of this is your—"

"Yes it is," Ursa says calmly. "Now please. Open the door."

An and Zuko share a look. But if the Fire Lord knows anything, it is not to stand in the way of his mother once she makes a decision. So he steps out of the way, allowing An to open the steel door.

Ursa steps in with her chin held high. When the door closes behind her, she looks at her daughter who is curled up in the corner with her long, dark hair blocking her face. Ursa approaches her slowly, calmly, and she allows herself to soften as she always did when her daughter was still young and innocent. "Hello Azula," she says softly.

Azula looks up at her, her eyes rimmed with red. "Oh," she says calmly, "It's you again."

* * *

Zuko paces back and forth outside of the room for a good half-an-hour while An watches him nervously. So when there is finally a knock from the other side of the steel door, both of their hearts slow in relief. An opens the door and Ursa is standing in the doorway, her eyes facing the ground. She steps out from the room, her face downcast.

As An closes the door, Ursa stops next to her son and says, "She thinks I'm a hallucination."

Zuko stares at his mother, not sure what to say.

"You have to keep coming," An says to Ursa.

Both mother and son look at the healer.

"It doesn't matter what you have discovered or what she has said to you. Azula is a girl used to using snark and meanness to make her way through life," An says firmly, "You have to keep coming. I know this has been explained to you, but if you keep coming and she eventually realizes that you are real… she may just start to heal again."

"You don't sound certain," Ursa observes.

"Nothing is certain when it comes to the mind," An replies, "But you shouldn't give up on your daughter just yet."

Ursa stares at the healer for a long moment before turning away and walking down the hall. Zuko follows his mother, leaving An in their wake.

* * *

An's words must have hit Ursa somehow because she comes to visit Azula many times after the first visit. Sometimes she comes in the dead of night to see her daughter because she knows that it is hardest for Azula when the moon is out.

For two months, Azula goes on believing that her mother is a hallucination. Ursa does not try to break her fantasy, anticipating the consequences if her daughter were to ever realize the truth. She just keeps visiting her daughter (and she honestly enjoys the visits). In the time that she keeps the façade, she starts to learn things about her daughter she never knew. She didn't know if these things developed in the six years she was absent or if they existed when she was present (if it was the ladder, Ursa, regrets her actions even more).

Apparently, Azula appreciates theater. She has an extensive weapons collection like that of her brother. And she actually does enjoy tea.

There is so much more Ursa learned. So much more about this… _woman _that she never knew.

The day that the fantasy breaks, Zuko accompanies his mother on a visit to Azula. He is not pacing this time; he sits silently outside of the room, thinking on this new guilt he has. He has been overseeing his sister's treatment, accompanied his mother on plenty of her visits.

But not once has he tried to see Azula himself.

As this thought crosses his mind, a scream rips through the air. It is vicious and venomous and _all too familiar_. He catapults out of his seat and heads straight for the door. He pulls it open and enters the room, stepping in between his mother who is pressed up against the wall and his sister. He catches the fireballs the Azula hurled towards Ursa and extinguishes them in his hands. Then he guides his mother out of the room, catching one more of Azula's blue attacks before shutting the door firmly behind him.

An comes rushing down the hall. "Is everyone alright?" she asks swiftly.

Zuko looks at his mother, whose face is stained with tears. "She's so hurt," Ursa whimpers, "She's so _angry_." Ursa grits her teeth, her tears pouring down her face. Zuko takes his mother in his arms, holding her firmly as she sobs silently into his shoulder. "I am so sorry I left her," she whispers, "I am so sorry I left _you_."

"You were doing what you had to do," Zuko whispers.

"No," Ursa says, pulling her head away so she can see her son, "I should have stayed. I should have found a way—"

"You didn't make a mistake, mother," Zuko assures her firmly.

She looks at him. Despite the tears, her ember eyes are hard as stone, "Yes I did." She brings her hands to her son's face, tracing the edge of his scar, "I left you both with a monster." Then she tears herself from her son's embrace and storms down the hall.

Zuko stares after her for only a moment before looking at An. "What does this mean?" he demands.

"It means…" An starts. She sighs and says, "It means that we are in the hardest part of Azula's treatment."

"What does that mean?"

"This is the part where we see if treatment will work," she explains, "And whether you and your family are willing to stick around long enough to help her get better."

"Why should we when we aren't even sure this will work?" Zuko demands angrily.

An knows the tempers of the royal family. She is aware of their powerful firebending. She is aware of the power they have, that with one word they could have her imprisoned for the rest of her life. But she has worked all her life for this opportunity. She has worked too hard and… and… she can't watch Azula fall again. "If I can bring myself to care about a patient who constantly insults me day after day, then you and your family can help her heal."

"But the treatment is still experimental," Zuko replies.

The healer looks down for a second before looking back at her king, her eyes as fiery as any firebender, "That doesn't mean it would hurt to try." Then she turns away from Zuko, storming down the hall in anger.

He watches her until she turns the corner, out of sight. Then he turns to the door for a second. Then he turns to walk away, but something stops him. He can't explain it. He doesn't understand why he chooses to turn, to reach for the door, to talk to his sister when he is obviously upset with her.

But he does. He enters the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Azula turns instantly, expecting her mother. Zuko freezes in his tracks when he sees her face is stained with tears. She is shaking with an emotion he can't read and her tears are still pouring out of her eyes. He notices her hair is wild and ragged around her face as she takes a second to see it is not her mother, but her brother. "_You_," she hisses, "_You_ brought her here." She walks straight up to Zuko until she is less than inch from his face. "How _dare _you?" she hisses, her eyes on fire with rage.

"I brought her here to help _you_," he replies, "To get you better."

"I don't WANT to get better if it means DEALING WITH THAT BITCH!" she screams, spitting in his face. He stands still, not even bothering to wipe her drool from his skin. She is pointing at the door, breathing rapidly, her face looking almost as crazy as it did at their Agni Kai. "I don't want her," she hisses, her infinite tears spilling over, "I don't want her. I don't want her!" She turns away from him, pumping her hands like a child. "I DON'T WANT HER! I DON'T WANT HER, I DON'T WANT HER, I DON'T WANT HER!" she starts throwing fire, aiming it in random place, blazing blue in the darkness. Then she starts breathing it through nose, "I DON'T—"

"FINE!" Zuko shouts, "JUST STOP BENDING!"

She does, shocked by his assertiveness. She looks at him, her face now red and puffy. Her eyes are just as fierce as ever. Unfortunately, her pillow is still on fire. He beats it out with his robe before looking at her. "Mother doesn't have to come anymore," he says to her. But he walks up to her now, "But she is the key to getting you better, Azula."

Azula doesn't answer, choosing to cross her arms over her chest and look away. Zuko says as calmly as he can, "You are sick and she is the only thing that can help you." That, of course, is not said in confidence. When it comes to the mind, Zuko knows next to nothing on how to heal it. But he _sounds_ confident and that, surprisingly, is enough to convince Azula of Zuko's adamancy.

He then walks out of the room, leaving Azula alone. Long after the door is closed, Azula just stands in her spot, not sure what to do.

Her mother doesn't love her. She loves what Azula could be… her little prissy, girly princess. The daughter she always wanted. Not the strong warrior. Not the powerful firebender, not the divinely endowed prodigy. Not the…

Azula catches her reflection in the metal of her bed. It's not even a clear reflection; it's a bar of metal, making her look distorted and exaggerated. But she sees herself. She sees the bright red in her eyes and the tears staining her skin. She sees what she has become.

And she can't stop herself. It's like a kick in her stomach, taking all her breath away from her body, as the realizations hits her. She collapses to the ground, trying to catch her breath and she does instantly. But it's in a sob and it rips out of her without her say-so. She holds herself, letting the tears pour down her face, not bothering to wipe them away. She sobs and sobs and lets her hair block out the rest of the world so she doesn't have to _look _at anything else.

It doesn't mean anything anymore. She's not anywhere near perfect and even if she was, she can't bring herself to care anymore. Everything she has been hiding, _everything _she has kept bottled up just comes pouring in in one big wave of _hurt _and she can't _care _about perfection anymore. Not when everything she has avoided caring about for so many years has suddenly risen to the surface.

She closes her eyes as more tears squeeze out between her lids. She stubbornly tries to wipe them away, tries to wipe it _all _away. But her heart is in her throat and she is caught somewhere she can't explain, a place she's never been, a place she has worked so hard to stay away from.

A place void of love… void of the one thing she's always wanted

A loud sob breaks out from inside her just as the door bangs open. She looks up and even though her vision is blurry, she knows it is her mother standing before her. She's angry at the sight of her, enraged at her gall to come back. But those emotions stop when something comes to her mind. One clear thing, something she's always been sure of… always. "Do you think I'm a monster?" she croaks through her tears.

She can't see her mother's reaction. But the moment the question leaves her lips, her mother walks over to her, falls to her knees, and gathers Azula in her arms, holding her daughter in a tight embrace. "I did," Ursa whispers into her daughter's hair, "But that doesn't mean I loved you any less than Zuko."

"Do you think I'm a monster now?" Azula whispers, her heart stopping in anticipation of the answer.

There is a moment's pause. Then— "Absolutely not."

For the first time in years, Azula raps her arms around her mother. She leans into Ursa, letting her tears pour into her robes. And she lets her mother weave her hands through Azula's hair as the _perfect princess _relaxes for the first time in… in _years. _


	3. Iroh

_-But Zuko… Can I call you Zuko?_

_-Of course._

_-_You_ must also be willing to be there for her. I know that is asking a lot of you, considering all that she has put you through. But she needs your love as well._

_-Azula has never expressed anything but tolerance towards me._

_-You may think that, but you are still her older brother. Your love means more to her than you know._

* * *

"You are her brother Zuko," Ursa says firmly, "You have to try to talk to her."

"Mother," Zuko starts, trying to be as patient as possible, "It's not like I exactly have the time for it. I have to do things, like fixing the world."

He begins to walk away when Ursa grabs his collar and pulls him back so he is next to her. "I understand that you have many duties," she says calmly, "But please visit your sister this weekend. Please."

"I do visit," the Fire Lord replies, "With you."

Ursa narrows her eyes, "You never go in to talk to her."

Zuko wracks his brain for any comeback but comes up blank. He sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"Visit her," Ursa says with finality, "She needs you more than you think." Zuko looks back up at her, hearing the echo of her words as she begins to walk away down the hall, leaving the Fire Lord in her wake.

* * *

It's late when he is finally able to take his headpiece off of his head and place it on his bureau in front of him. He undoes his topknot, letting his hair fall. He rubs the sides of his temple, trying to relieve himself of this headache. He should seriously consider discarding this ridiculous tradition of mandatory topknots in the royal family.

Thin, strong arms wrap around him, making him start. But the arms squeeze as the person whispers, "What's bothering you?"

It's Mai.

Zuko sighs, relaxing a little as he places his hand over hers. "It's nothing," he replies.

She shifts her position so that she is beside him. With one arm still around his waste, she brings the other to the side of his face, gently guiding it so he is looking at her. Zuko looks into her pale lavender eyes as she says, "Please don't block me out. Talk to me."

There's a lot of things that he would love to talk to her about that he can't. Many of it is confidential, kept hidden from everyone who is not directly involved.

And Zuko is just not that great at talking out his feelings.

But Mai's right. He shouldn't block her out. "I don't know if I should visit Azula or not," he replies, "I mean, by myself."

Mai's hand firms up slightly against his face, but she remains silent, waiting for him to finish.

He notices, but doesn't point it out. Instead, he continues, "Mother and An are both convinced that Azula needs me to show her love so she can recover. But—"

"But she antagonized you all your life and you're not sure you have any love for her?" Mai asks.

Zuko's jaw drops slightly, surprised at Mai's perceptiveness. "Yeah," he replies, "And—"

"And if you do have any love for her, you're not sure you really want to help her after everything she's done?"

Zuko raises a brow, "Been thinking about this too?"

Mai takes her hand off of his face and leans against his bureau. She crosses her arms, her face settling back into apathy. But she says, "I try not to care about her, but she's been my best friend for so long. _Too_ long."

"Imagine being her brother," Zuko replies.

Mai looks at him, "You have an obligation."

Zuko looks away, runs his hands through his hair, pinches the bridge of his nose. "Should I go to her?" he asks with his eyes closed.

Mai stares at him for a second, reading him, knowing this is tearing him apart. She places her hand on his arm as she says, "I think you should go ask your uncle."

Zuko keeps his eyes closed. He has been trying to refrain from asking anything more of his uncle. The man has already done so much for Zuko. "How can I ask more of him?" Zuko asks, "Shouldn't I leave him be?"

"A father is always there for his child," Mai replies.

Zuko looks at her one more time before smirking, "Where did you get that piece of wisdom?"

She smirks, "Not telling." Then she gives him a light peck on the lips before walking out of the room.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Zuko asks his uncle.

The dynamic duo are standing outside Azula's room with Zuko closest to the door. He is facing Iroh, fear plane on the young Fire Lord's face.

"I am," Iroh says, smiling an encouraging smile, "You are doing the right thing. The rest is up to her."

Zuko makes a small smile before letting out a big breath. Then he grabs the knob and opens the door to the room. As he closes it behind him, he sees his sister sitting on her bed looking out the window into the afternoon son. When she hears the door close, she turns her head to see her brother. She raises a brow in wonder as she asks, "What are you doing here?"

"I figured I'd come visit," he replies.

Azula just scoffs. "Get out," she says as she turns back to the window.

Zuko sighs, willing his irritation to subside. "I really am trying to—"

Lightning shot just past the scarred half of Zuko's face into the wall. It flashed by within seconds, but Zuko sees it. He looks at Azula in shock.

"I mean it," she hisses menacingly.

Zuko runs out instantly. Not because he's scared (he's proven he can handle Azula). Because it is now proven that there is no point in visiting Azula. He tells Iroh what happened before storming out of the building.

Iroh stares at the door for a second before walking down the hall.

* * *

Azula has sat in the same position—holding her legs to her chest—for hours. In that time, she had devised a full-proof way of escaping this seemingly inescapable room. She has it all planned out; running, getting away from the Fire Nation, living somewhere far away.

All of it is planned.

So why doesn't she just leave? She could. She jump out the window right now and be free.

So what is keeping her from running? Why is she still in this dinky room, in these stupid clothes? Why?

She hears the door open. It must be her mother.

"Azula?" It's a male voice.

She turns her head in surprise to see Uncle Iroh peaking his head around the door. She doesn't answer him.

"I have brought some tea," he says calmly, walking into the room, "Could I share it with you?"

"Don't you have your ridiculous tea shop to run?" Azula demands bitterly.

"I am on holiday," he replies.

Azula cracks a bitter smile. "I see," she chuckles, "Zuko sent you to soften me up."

"Actually, Zuko has pretty much given up on trying to work things out with you," Iroh replies bluntly, humorlessly.

Azula sighs. Besides Zuko, she hasn't had a visitor all day. Not even An. She's lonely and… she wants some real tea. "Fine," she replies, looking back out the window.

Iroh closes the door behind him and sets up a little tea set on the ground with two pillows on either side of the tray. Iroh pours some water from Azula's water pitcher into the teapot and puts some teabags inside it before placing it in his palm to heat.

"Aren't you going to ask me which flavor I want?" Azula asks calmly, still looking out the window.

"I remember what you like," he answers, looking at the back of her head.

She turns to him, more than a little irritated. "Maybe my taste has changed," she snaps.

"I doubt that," Iroh replies, "Chamomile has always remained your favorite."

Azula, growing angrier by the second, hangs one leg off of the bed as she hisses, "How would you know what I like? You know nothing about me!"

"I know that you enjoy Chamomile because your brain is always going a mile a minute and it is the only thing that can calm it," Iroh responds calmly, "You told me that when you were very young. When our family was—"

"Happy," they finish at the same time.

Sadness creeps into Iroh's face as it falls a little. Azula sees it and her anger vanishes in her own nostalgia. "Chamomile," she says quietly, "is still my favorite."

Iroh responds with a small smile. "Would you join me?" he asks.

Azula looks at him for a second before looking at the tea with suspicion. "If I were going to poison you, Azula, Ursa would—forgive my language—fry my ass. And your brother wouldn't trust me anymore."

Azula looks up at uncle again. He's right, of course. The old man is always right.

The princess takes another moment. She looks out the window for a second, considering something for a second. Then she gets off her bed and sits on the pillow across from Iroh. "I think the tea is ready," she tells him.

Iroh looks at the teapot and realizes the metal is very hot. He just laughs, surprised by his own inattention. He pours the hot liquid into the tin cups on the tray, noting how the moonlight shows the amber color of the tea ever so slightly.

He hands the first cup to Azula, which she takes gratefully. She sips the tea and moans just slightly, "That tastes so good."

"You act like you haven't had it in a while," Iroh observes.

"I haven't," she replies, "Father said that trying to quiet my mind is wrong. Trying to drown out such a useful resource can only be disgraceful."

"Sleeping is not disgraceful."

"I can't remember the last time I slept through the night," Azula replies, as calm as the night. Iroh takes in her words and turns them over in his mind as they sit there in silence for a while, sipping their tea.

She is the one to break the silence. "Why did you come here, Uncle?" she asks, "I thought you hated me."

"I never hated you Azula," he replies, "A lot of people never hated you."

Azula snickers bitterly, "I doubt that."

"None of them hate you," he repeats, "To achieve absolute hate towards someone takes more than most people can give. There is always something standing in the way. Whether it be memories of a happier time or emotions left unexplained."

"Is it the memories of happiness that brought you here tonight?" she asks.

"It is part of it," he admits, "But I have other reasons."

"Do not hold them in," she says calmly but genuinely, "Please. Tell me."

To Azula's surprise, Iroh puts down his cup. What he says next is firm and real, "I am here because despite any hate I could harbor against you, the love is there. I remember you being nothing but a little fireball of energy trailing after Zuko and… my son," he wills himself to whisper. He takes a deep breath and continues, "I remember you and your brother playing together at Ember Island and falling asleep with your mother while she held you two close."

She doesn't remember the images he describes. But she can remember the feeling. She can just vaguely remember feeling… happy. And not the satisfaction she got at achieving something or winning against others (her brother). Real happiness. She can remember it. And that makes tears stream down her face.

Seeing his niece cry over those memories makes Iroh's eyes water a little. This is why those memories are never spoken of; they are so far in the past that they don't bring comfort, but nostalgia. Pain. Iroh, through the thickness in this throat, whispers, "I can remember it all, Azula."

The princess sniffles, rubbing away her tears with the back of her hand.

"But most of all, I can remember the love," he whispers, smiling a watery smile, "I can remember feeling as much love for you and Zuko as I did for Lu Ten."

Iroh can't see Azula's eyes. They are hidden behind the shadow of her hair.

"I cannot hate you, Azula, because of these memories," he explains, "And the love in those memories is the reason I'm here."

Azula looks up at her uncle, the slight shift of her causing the moon to illuminate her eyes. Her face is glistening with tears and it is contorted with more emotions that Iroh has seen in her for a very long time.

"I want the love in these memories back," he admits, his tears finally pouring over.

Azula sniffles a few more times before she lets out a silent, shaky sob. Even Iroh never realized how much those memories meant to her.

Iroh cracks a smile, "I can remember when you were born."

Azula looks at her uncle again.

"I can remember you, a little bundle you were. Your parents were so happy," he says, "And little Zuko was absolutely clueless. You should've seen it. The boy didn't know what the hell you were."

To her surprise, Azula actually finds his word funny.

"I remember holding you," he continues, "and being relieved that we don't have another boy. It's easier to buy girls gifts after all."

Azula laughs and rolls her eyes at the same time. "I still think you should've given me the pearl dagger," she retorts with a stuffy nose.

Iroh smiles at her and for a second, there is silence. The Azula blurts, "But why do you want anything from me? Why? I've done awful things. I've hurt everyone, I've… I've…"

"You are only fourteen, Azula," Iroh cuts her off.

She looks up at him, confused by his words.

"Your brother was one year younger than you when he was banished," Iroh says firmly, "He was only a child. Your father made his mission to make you a responsible child by ten and a soldier by thirteen. You—nor your brother—deserve what Ozai has put you through."

Azula remains silent.

"I was there for Zuko at your age," Iroh says calmly, "And I will try my hardest to be there for you too."

Azula does not answer. She just sits silently, staring at the tray. Iroh pours the last of the tea for them both and they sip it, feeling the effects of the calming substance…

…and the warmth of the moment shared between them just seconds before.


	4. Ty Lee

_-How would we even start to work with friendship, let alone romance?_

_-The same way she works things out with her family._

Azula grows to… enjoy her uncle's company almost as much as her time with her mother. They're small things, compared to what she's used to wanting. Meals with her uncle and her mother aren't nearly as grandiose as the thrown of the fire nation or achieving the "Dragon" title in firebending.

But it is _easier _thinking about visits from her family than about ambitions that are never going to happen. It's simpler to enjoy the present than regret failures. That's her reason for enjoying their company.

That's what she tells An anyway and the woman isn't buying Azula's words at all.

To everyone's disappointment—except, maybe, Azula—Zuko refuses to visit her. He refuses to give her another chance, despite the pleas of almost everyone in his family. And An.

Either way, Azula doesn't really notice.

What Azula does notice is that Ursa and Iroh slowly cease to visit her at night. When she asks why, her mother explains that she is just so tired in the morning and Iroh is too old to be out that late. In short, they are both old.

Azula knows she shouldn't be angry about it. This is the Fire Nation, land of sun, land of day. Of course her family needs to sleep.

But she _is _angry. She _is _because at night, she gets scared. Maybe it's because her fire is not at its full power or the fact that the darkness promises her terrifying hallucinations (she still does get visions, but since Ursa returned, Azula has managed to understand what's real and what's not real).

She ceases to sleep and before she knows it, she is a walking zombie, which doesn't particularly help with her mental state.

It's one night that she is awake, staring at the ceiling, terrified to go to sleep, that someone crawls through the window. To Azula's shame, she screams, running to the corner of the room like a helpless non-bender. She tries to light her fire, but it comes out red, not blue. Anybody skilled enough to scale the side of this building isn't going to have a tough time with red firebending.

So she just looks up to see the person who crawled through the window. "Ty Lee?" she says in shock. But she releases a sigh of relief.

"Hi Azula," he friend greets, a noticeable sad edge to her tone.

"What… what are you doing here?" Azula asks uncertainly. She thought she would never see Ty Lee again.

"I heard that you're alone," her friend replies, walking forward. She is dressed in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform, though not wearing the makeup, "I came to keep you company."

Both girls stared at each other for a moment, unsure of what the other is thinking. After all, their last meeting wasn't particularly… peaceful. "Why?" Azula asks suspiciously. She was probably sent by Zuko.

Ty Lee puts up her hands, "Because you're my friend."

"That's not what you were thinking when you paralyzed me," Azula retorts bitterly.

Ty Lee, calm and collected, replies, "I did that to you because you were going to attack a disarmed Mai. I would have done the same to her if the situation were reversed. I was only protecting her."

"I thought you were loyal to me."

"I am loyal to Mai too," Ty Lee says a little more viciously, "You're acting like I chose a side. I didn't. All I did was protect my friend."

Despite Azula's wild emotions and delicate mind, Ty Lee's words make sense. Still, Azula says, "Well after where I put you, I'm certain you would never choose to return to me."

Ty Lee rolls her eyes, "Well, obviously you're wrong. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here."

Azula looks back at her friend, "Zuko obviously sent you."

"He did," Ty Lee admits, "But I could've said no."

Azula just stares at Ty Lee, not saying a word.

"Now c'mon," Ty Lee gestures with her hand, "We're going out."

Azula raises a brow. She isn't technically supposed to leave… "Where are we going?"

"It's Agni Day, silly. There is a huge celebration going on right now," Ty Lee replies, her voice becoming a little more playful, a little like what Azula is used to, "Do you really want to stay cooped up in here on the biggest day of the year?"

Azula blinks. A year ago, she couldn't have cared less about such stupid drivel. It didn't do anything for her. But now… now the idea is the most attractive one she's heard in a while. "On one condition," she replies.

Ty Lee smirks, "What?"

"Please take off that ridiculous uniform."

Ty Lee looks down at her attire and grins a bright smile. "Deal," she says, looking back up at Azula. The acrobat ends up borrowing some of Azula's clothes. Then they crawl out the window, Azula using the escape plan she had made the night of Iroh's visit.

Except she forgot to take into consideration that her muscle mass isn't what it used to be. So by the time she touches solid ground, her hands are shaking and her body is covered in sweat. But that doesn't stop her from going.

Ty Lee and she walk towards town and slowly they begin to relax around each other. By the time they reach the gates leading into town, they are actually smiling together. Stands are set up around town. Games and food. Throughout the night, they munch on fire flakes and other assorted snack foods while playing so many games. Azula can remember watching teenagers from her balcony when she was around five. She remembers wanting to go down there and join them, to be a little free, to enjoy herself.

But she was a princess. She had to set an example. That meant not stooping to the amusement of commoners.

But, technically, she isn't the perfect princess anymore. So who the fuck cares?

She has fun. She and Ty Lee laugh and talk and act like normal teenage girls. It's almost like they are not high-class, that so much isn't required of them. It's almost like the pressure of being perfect isn't even there.

By the time the fireworks light up the sky, Ty Lee and Azula have crawled on top of a building. They sit shoulder-to-shoulder, looking at the brilliant show of sparks. Azula had always seen the fireworks from afar but never really as a spectator, up close, among hundreds of other people. Ty Lee has probably seen it a million times, but that doesn't really bother Azula. "It's beautiful," Azula says, smiling.

"It's odd that you're a firebender and you've never seen fireworks this close," Ty Lee comments.

"Oh, I know," Azula agrees, "It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

"Not really," Ty Lee replies, "I think it's more than probable actually."

Ty Lee's words manage to make Azula peel her eyes away from the fireworks and look at her friend, "What do you mean?"

"Well… your father tried to make you his tool, Azula," Ty Lee explains, "Of course he would try to keep you from something that gives you _human _curiosity."

Azula's blood suddenly runs hot. "My father was just trying help me succeed," the princess snaps, "He was trying to help me achieve perfection. My father was _helping _me."

Ty Lee usually cowered at Azula's wrath. She usually faked agreeing with her to keep her skin from being burned off her face. But… something pushes Ty Lee. Something makes her _talk back_. "Everyone knows your father is selfish, Azula," she says calmly, but firmly.

"Not towards me," Azula retorts.

"Yes he—"

"NO!" Azula suddenly screams. She scrambles to her feet and glares furiously at Ty Lee, "MY FATHER LOVES ME! HE WAS NOT USING ME, HE WAS HELPING ME!"

"Azu—"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING TY LEE!" the princess shouts over the fireworks, "YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN FUCKING THING!" Then she turns and walks swiftly off of the roof.

Ty Lee wants to chase after her. _God _does she want to. But she can't; Azula has to figure this out for herself.

Azula runs so fast, she is confused for one moment if she is using her firebending unconsciously to propel her or not. She is still running a good twenty minutes after the fireworks end.

Finally, she comes to the prison, the same one that housed Iroh; the one that now houses her father. She takes a few minutes to catch her breath.

In those moments, she thinks. There are plenty of guards, but she doesn't have to worry about them. She knows where they would be keeping him—underground. After recovering, she worms her way through a hole in the bottom of the building and stealthily walks through the darkness until she finds her father's cell. She checks for guards and then opens the door leading into his cell.

"Who's there?" her father demands calmly, but bitterly.

"Father," she calls, "It's me."

"Azula?" There is a distinct tone of hope in his voice. "Is that you?"

Azula walks out of the darkness into the light shining through the window in the door, revealing herself.

"It _is _you." The hope in her father's voice, she realizes, makes her calm slightly. He does care.

She smiles at him, "I missed you, father."

"You missed me," he says as he crawls into the light. His face is thin and pale, gaunt from his time in jail, "That's odd."

Azula furrows her brow, "Why?"

"You usually don't miss anyone," he replies. "It's no matter, though. I've missed you as well, my darling."

Azula smiles at him again, "How are you?"

"I've been worse," he replies, "The Avatar… neutered me."

"I heard they took your bending away," she replies. "But it can't be gone… permanently."

"Oh it is, my dear," he replies, the bitterness clear in his face and voice. But when he speaks again, he has resolved to change the course of the conversation. "How have you been?" he asks her.

"I've been…" she takes a deep breath, "I've been—"

"You're hesitant," he comments, "That's very odd."  
She looks up at him, suspicious, unsure of him now. "Why?" she asks.

Ozai pauses, thinks for a second. Then he just says, "Continue."

Still suspicious, Azula continues, "I have been in a mental institution, father. After the fall of the Fire Nation in the war, I… lost it."

Ozai just stares at her, unblinking.

"There were certain factors that contributed to my… breakdown. But I've been getting better," she explains confidently, "in many ways."

"Are you recovered enough to continue your mission?" he asks.

"My— What?"

"You took a little vacation, Azula. That's fine. But now that it's over, are you ready to take up your mission again?" he asks rather impatiently.

"My… my _mission_?" Azula snaps louder than she meant to, "I just told you that I had a mental breakdown _and _I've managed to recover—in three month's time, no less—and all you can think about is the mission?"

"You should be Fire Lord, Azula," Ozai replies coldly, "Not your disappointment of a brother."

Azula is used to agreeing with her father on this point. Zuko has always been the weak one, the soft one. But when she opens her mouths, she responds, "Zuko's the one who kick-started my recovery."

"Well that's good," Ozai says almost mockingly, "But he has made a mess of the rest of the kingdom. You must take the throne Azula; for your country, for your people, for—"

"You."

"Yes," he agrees, "You must avenge my defeat."

"No," she retorts, "You want me to "complete the mission" only because of you. You don't care about the country or the people. You just care about your own personal gain."

"You're being ridiculous," Ozai retorts.

Azula stares back at him. "I love you," she says for the first time in years, "Do you love me?"

"Of course I do."

Azula reads his face carefully, his eyes _carefully_. "You know," she starts, "the Avatar has this friend who can tell when people are lying. She can feel the vibrations people give off when they are reacting to their own lies."

"What is the point of this little fact?" Ozai asks, less than interested.

"The point is, I can tell when people are lying too," Azula says, "It's an ability I've always had. I just never told you about it."

"So?" he asks, not really caring that she didn't tell him.

"You're lying to me," she answers, "You're lying about loving me."

"What? That's… that's…"

"Completely rational," she responds. Then she stands, "Goodbye father." She turns to walk out of the cell.

"Azula?" he calls, "Azula!"

She continues to walk away.

"Azula, I need you!"

She stops and turns her face just far enough to look at him over her shoulder, "You need me, but I don't need you. I'm the Fire Nation princess. You're just a prisoner."

"And I'm your father!"

For some stupid reason, the words hit her full-force. She turns away from her father, her bottom lip trembling, but with her head held high. And she walks out of the cell like the princess that she is.

But that persona finally fades when she is a good mile away from the prison. She leans against a tree and places her hand over her chest, taking deep breaths, trying not to cry again.

That's when Ty Lee shows up at the end of the street. She had decided to follow Azula, after all. As much as Ty Lee tries, she could never leave a friend alone in a time of need. When she sees Azula, the princess's face is covered in tears, and though shame for her weakness is clear on her face, the pain is obvious pain in the way Azula hugs herself.

Ty Lee can't even imagine how much this hurts her.

She walks up to the princess and asks softly, "Can I hug you?"

Azula stares at her through teary eyes and barred teeth behind her lips. But, she nods slowly to Ty Lee. In turn, the acrobat walks up to her and takes Azula's entire body in her arms as the princess leans into her. She sighs into Ty Lee's shoulder as she cries silently, biting back on her sobs because she is _sick _of sobbing. And Ty Lee rubs her back, trying her best not to cry despite being who she is—not a comforter, but a sympathetic cryer.

But Azula needs someone strong, someone to be her rock.

And Ty Lee will try her damned hardest to be that.

After Azula has cried herself out, they walk slowly back to the hospital in silence. They climb the wall sluggishly because Azula is tired out. When they finally crawl through the window, Ty Lee is standing in the middle of the room. Azula falls onto her bed from the window, lying down on it. She's never… felt this way before. She's never felt tired from simple emotional expression.

She's never been… numbly tired before.

"I'll be going," Ty Lee says.

Azula looks at her.

"It was nice spending time with you Azula," Ty Lee smiles. She has a nice smile, Azula observes. She's never really noticed anything about anyone except their flaws. That's another reason she always used fear; people always just tended to suck. But… Ty Lee seems really nice tonight… and she looks really nice. And she is walking over to the door to leave.

"Ty Lee," Azula calls.

The acrobat turns back to the princess.

"Could you—" Azula cuts herself off.

Ty Lee turns towards her, "Yes, Azula?"

"Could you…" she takes a breath, "This is an awkward request but could you… stay with me."

"Of course!" Ty Lee replies happily. She skips over to Azula's bed and sits at the foot of it, taking the princess's hand. Ty Lee's skin is very… smooth. "And it's not awkward," Ty Lee assures her.

"Well actually, I was wondering if you could…" Azula takes another deep breath, "if you could… um…"

"Spit it out!" Ty Lee teases.

She might as well, "."

Ty Lee blinks, trying to decipher her words. But Azula takes it as disgust and starts spluttering out an explanation, trying to defend herself, trying in _any way_ to make this less awkward, to make it less of a chance of her losing Ty Lee all over again.

Then, the acrobat covers Azula's mouth with her hand. And she lies next to Azula, her front pressed to Azula's back. "Of course I'll lie with you," Ty Lee whispers, unwittingly sending shivers down Azula's spine.

But with the warmth that comes with Ty Lee wrapping her arm around Azula, the princess begins to relax. And as she is drifting off into what will most likely be her first dreamless sleep in months, she whispers to her friend, "Thank you."

And the two girls drift off into peaceful sleep, the tension that existed between them vanishing in their mingled breaths drifting off into the warm night air.


End file.
